LEAGUE STANDINGS

This Week in the NFL and the World: The Bills, Cowboys, and Vikings were all victorious in 1-score games on Turkey Day, which marks the 102nd straight year of America winning on Thanksgiving. The Ravens blew another lead, the Broncos continued to look like a dumpster fire, the Chargers best the Cards on a late 2-point conversion, and the Raiders and Browns take the cake in Overtime. The USA also advanced to the round of 16 in the World Cup, after a thrilling 1-0 victory against Iran, whom Stephen was rooting for. But enough chitter chatter, time to get into this week's matchups. LLLLETS GO!

Game Results

Staten Island Jokers 150.02 - 127.4 Myers Man's Men

The Jokers just refuse to give up that top spot in the league, and were able to cling to it this week as their team continued to impress. Jalen Hurts opponents chances all season, and kept it going this week as he carried the Eagles to victory over the Packers in a shootout. Godwins, but the Bucs lose, despite Chris's impressive 12/110/1 statline, and the Chubb/Ekeler backfield continues to be the most devastating 1-2 punch in Fantasy. It was an untimely matchup for the Myers Men, because Carters team had a really solid week. Kittle was the only player to underperform their projection by more than 2 points, but it was still no match for the Jokers, and Jest's surprising girth. Carter now rides a disappointing 5 game losing streak into December.

Chafey's Buff Boys 116.66 - 149.6 Team Pup N Suds

Josh Jacobs. Interesting point, but have you considered Josh Jacobs? Josh Jacobs was already having a superb game, and then in OT Josh broke free and Jingle'd his Heimer for 82 yards and Shmidt all over the Seahawks Defense, and Chafey's hopes of victory. THE MAN HAD 303 YARDS OF TOTAL OFFENSE. The Suds can also thank the Sun God himself, as Amon-Ra had a radiant Thanksgiving with a 9/122/1 line and looked like Icarus minus the falling part. Chafey's team was competent but uninspiring, with just about everyone performing right at their projections, which is not going to cut it against the mighty Pup n Suds.

Motor City Raw Dogs 87.8 - 109.98 Boob plowers

The Boob Plowers sleepwalked into a win against the hapless Raw Dogs, who have served nicely as a league punching bag for the last 12 weeks. The Plowers had a solid Thanksgiving from their trio of Cowboys, but outside of that, there wasn't a standout performer from either squad. The win puts Luke in the drivers seat for the playoffs, and he controls his own destiny from here on out, but gets a tough draw next week against the juggernaut that is the Staten Island Jokers. While the Raw Dogs may have the lowest scoring output on the season, they do rank #1 in roster moves, which is something to take pride in, although it may be part of the reason for his downfall.

Boof's Big Beefy Boys 113.16 - 127.52 Team MingusBluesBoys

As if this Fantasy season wasn't thrilling enough already, the MingusBluesBoys turned up the drama that much more by pulling off the upset win over the Beefy Boys. With the top two teams looking like locks for the playoffs, the 3rd and 4th spot are still up for grabs between 6 teams. And with Mingus getting a free win next week when he takes on the Raw Dogs, it will only bring things that much closer. Carson's QB's did all the heavy lifting in this one, but the real difference came from the Defense. The 20 point outing from Miami elevated Carson's squad to a season-defining win, and could make things very interesting in the final weeks. Buford was seen on Sunday screaming at his TV "Aaaaaaalllvvinnnn!" in true Christmas fashion, considering the Saints offense looked like a bunch of chipmunks on the field, and were held scoreless for the first time since 2002. Boof does get Ja'Marr chase in the equation next week, so be on the lookout for a revenge game.

Jtopia Football Club 93.92 - 113.64 Bo0ya's ornery melonheads

Thanks to an untimely injury for Travis Etienne, and an absent Justin Fields, Jay's Football Club was forced to try all 11 secret Herbs and Spices of the Eagles running game, as they fed Colonel Miles Sanders to the tune of 150 yards and 2 tuddies. After a 6 game losing streak, Bo0ya has won 2 straight, and is not entirely out of the playoff equation yet. The Ornery manager has purged all memories of Russell Wilson from his team, and is now turning to Michael White, a figurehead in the disc golf community, and now a starting Quarterback. What a journey. The loss for JFC puts them right back in the thick of the playoff hunt, as over half the league dukes it out for the last two spots.

THE DOMS REPORT - By CARSON WARREN

• Darnell Mooney suffered a serious ankle injury that is most likely going to end his season early. Does not really change the Bear game plan as long as Justin Fields is healthy. Their offense is mainly Justin running around like a speedy jungle cat and occasionally dumping the ball off to Cole Kmetme.

• Rams WR Allen Robinson is out for the season with a foot injury that required surgery. It has been reported that Matthew Stafford was heading to the training facility to receive rehab and accidentally slammed into Allen Robinson with his Cadillac CTS. Stafford has refused to comment on why he still can’t see Robinson.

• Elijah Mitchell sustained a knee injury in the Niners win over the Saints. This could be helpful to the Boob Plowers, who own stock in Christian “Bicep-Vein” McCaffery. The Niners now have the undisputed sexiest backfield in Jimmy G and CM.

• Travis Etienne suffered a foot injury in the Jags win over the Ravens. Hasty stepped in and provided a spark as Trevor Lawrence showed why he was a first round pick. Teams looking to face JFC sure hope that Etienne does not make a “hasty” recovery.

• Michael Carter suffered a sprained ankle in the Jets rout of the Bears this last Sunday. The Jets backfield has been much maligned, but the defense has been solid and Mike White has returned to grace us with his presence once more. If Carter can return, he should be a solid back and receiving option for White. If he can’t, the “gunslinger with the overly generic name” will have to carry the Jets offense.

• Aaron Rodgers was replaced by Jordan Love after suffering an oblique injury while already having issues with his thumb. Nothing can go right for Rodgers this year, and it seems his career may be on the way to ending. Adam Schefter reported earlier this week that Rodgers has reached out to Brett Favre for investment opportunities going forward. Hopefully his post career investments stay above the table.

• Najee Harris suffered an abdominal injury, but it looks like it was minor and he may be back as soon as this week. The Steelers are a feisty team and have competed hard in their last several games. Harris has yet to get going since the Steelers offensive line have been implementing a blocking strategy they call “the Pickett fence.” This strategy involves quality pass blocking while doing their best impersonation of a matador when a running play is called.

Connor's Meme of the week