As we all get older, time becomes precious. The days blend into weeks, weeks into years, and before you know it, the year is 2026 and we all peaked in college a decade ago. Times like these make you really start to wonder about what's important. We all will leave a legacy behind, so what will mine be?

Family?

My Work?

That time in Allen when I slipped in the butt ass nude and bent half of my teeth the wrong way?

No.

I think I speak for everyone reading this when I say, we want our legacy to be how good we were at picking 20 - 35 year old football players for our imaginary teams in a fictional football league. That's what gets us out of bed in the morning, and what makes life worth living.

As we enter into the 7th year of the Kolkata Fantasy Football League, and we welcome two new Managers, lets bring them up to speed and gear up for a fantastic year ahead!

WELCOME new managers!

Some of you may be surprised to see these two academics in a fantasy football league. You may be thinking "Wow, I'm truly baffled that we let them join", or perhaps "I would prefer literally anyone else be here but them". They say that perfection is the enemy of progress, and these guys were the best we could find, so here they are!

Chadwick Loftis comes from a storied football family. His father was the starting Left Tackle for the Crimson Tide all 4 years of his collegiate career beginning back in '73. Mrs. Chad's Mom was a member of the team USA Paralympic Motocross team for 20 years, and was competing until midway through the third trimester of Chad's pregnancy.

Don't be fooled by his soft exterior, Chad has made it clear he isn't here to make friends. After I reached out to Chad to welcome him to the league, Chad responded by saying, "I literally don't fucking care about anyone". Harsh words from the newcomer, but you love to see that competitive spirit!

When he's not absolutely pummeling opponents with his 0.5" PPR Schlong, Chad enjoys playing Dota 2, watching TV, and listening to Brandon Sanderson audiobooks. Lets welcome him to the league with open arms and give him an old fashioned Kolkata welcome!

As a controversial figure in the online era, the addition of Dakota to the league may cause some discord. Hell, it may even cause some Teamspeak. Dakota has been known to ruffle some feathers, he's been kicked out of 4 fantasy leagues in the past, with complaints concerning his argumentative disposition, lewd behavior, and deviated septum.

As for who Dakota may be targeting in his first fantasy draft, be on the lookout for the Cowboys. DumbP revealed his love for the Cowboys in a recent interview, and further elaborated: "Their mild, but hardened demeanor, the way their thighs grip the horse like a vice. And those chaps, don't even get me started.. wait, you're talking about the football team?".

In Dakota's spare time he enjoys watching every YouTube video ever made, dyeing his last remaining 7 hairs, and picking his nose. He's a little green, but watch for Dakota to create chaos as a wild card this season.

As is tradition, Chad and Dakota will be performing in the Rookie talent show before the draft, I'm excited to see what they've been working on!

In the Summer of 2020, our very own Zach Hanna found himself discontent with the way his life was going. From the outside, you would think he had it all. A stable, 7-Figure job, a chiseled physique, constantly turning down incessant advances from beautiful men and women alike. This guy has it all, right? Well despite all that, he yearned for something more, so he brainstormed with some like-minded individuals, and later that year, the Kolkata Fantasy League was born. And thus began a Fantasy League consisting of seven very close friends and Carter.

For the newbies who need a recap, and for the rest of us to take our memory for a jog, let's revisit what's happened over the last 6 years.

2020

At the beginning of a Dota 2 match, there's a pick phase. All you have to do is pay attention for 30 seconds and select a hero that you want to play and fits the team composition. But every now and then, your attention slips, and you don't pick anyone, and you get a random hero, which has the potential to absolutely ruin any enjoyment you had hoped to experience over the next 30-60 minutes.

On draft night in 2020, Josh West got the bright idea that Tight End is such a sparse position, he would draft all the good ones, and the rest of the league would be at his mercy, begging him for a crumb of his wealth at the position. Josh claims that this enlightenment found him at the bottom of a bottle of Watford's Bourbon, and eyewitnesses can attest to his impaired state at the time. Josh would go on to draft Travis Kelce at 2nd overall, and then George Kittle in the very next round. What everyone realized immediately, and Josh realized after two rounds, was that this plan was really fucking stupid. He scrambled to assemble a lineup behind his herculean mistake, but failed, and finished second to last.

Not only did Josh's strategy fail, but he actually ended up dropping his second round pick 2 months later, where he was scooped up by the eventual champion, Josh Buford.

Jay had a dominant regular season, but as mentioned above, Josh Buford would edge him out (not like that) in the playoffs to become the first Champion of the Kolkata Fantasy League.

2021

The next year, the league expanded, adding Shannon and Will Reno as managers. These two eager, doe-eyed, fertile members of the squad proved to be great additions, the draft went smoothly, and competition was underway!

Well in Week Two, on September 19th, 2021. Something unthinkable happened. The aftermatch of which would shake the very foundation of the Kolkata Fantasy League.

Will Reno was coming off of a hot start, trouncing Chafey's Buff Boys in Week 1. Chafey was the odds-favorite to win the title at this point, on account of his enormous brain and cute smile.

In Week 2, Reno was matched up against the Team MingusBlueBoys, and going into a Sunday Night Football clash between the Ravens and Chiefs, he found himself at a steep deficit. He was losing 60.18 - 135.36. However, Reno still had Mahomes, Lamar, CEH, and Kelce ALL still to play in this one game. He had a lot of potential points still on the board.

This was winnable.

This game was a shootout, which is always good for Fantasy scoring. It was a back-and-forth offensive masterclass, with Mahomes and Jackson BOTH racking up points for Reno's team. In the 4th Quarter, at the 2 Minute warning, the Chiefs were driving, down 1, with a chance to win. Reno had 135.36 points.

Straight out of the 2 Minute Timeout, Mahomes completes a 7-yard pass to Travis Kelce. This completion brings Reno to 136.84. It doesn't matter who wins the real life game, Reno now beats Carson's score of 135.36.

That is, until the very next play.

On 2nd and 3, Mahomes hands off the ball on the left to Clyde Edwards-Helaire, who tries to find a gap in his capsizing O-Line, but the ball is OUT!!. He fumbles it, and the Ravens recover. -2 points for the fumble (and a loss of 2 yards) means the score is now 134.64 - 135.36, with Carson back in the lead. With 1:20 left, the game is essentially over. However, the Chiefs still have all 3 timeouts. The Ravens have to try for a first down.

1st Down - Lamar rushes for a yard 134.74 - 135.36

2nd Down - Lamar rushes to the right for 2 yards 134.94 - 135.36

3rd Down - Lamar passes to Sammy Watkins for 6 yards!! 135.18 - 135.36

4th & 1 - The madmen are going for it, up 1 from their own 44. - Lamar rushes for 2 yards! Incredible!! 135.38 - 135.36!!

Reno has taken the lead AGAIN with only one minute left in the game! This is the closest margin I've ever seen.
The game is over. The Chiefs know it, the Ravens know it, I know it, hell even my daughter Violet knew it, and she could barely even say "Long Island" at this age.

But as many of you know, the clock has to run out at some point. Even when the game is effectively over, if there's more time on the game clock than there is on the play clock, someone's gotta do something.

And that's when this happened.

Lamar takes a knee in the victory formation, and a common play, that's usually no more than a rounding error in the grand scheme of things, delivered the crushing blow to Reno's team.

Final Score 135.28 - 135.36
Carson Wins

In the wake of this insane matchup, Reno would go on to lose in Week 3 to the Boob Plowers, and then suffer another devastating loss by 0.86 points to Boof's Beefy Boys.

After that, the wheels came off and eventually everything came to a head when Reno dropped Lamar Jackson a few weeks later.

What followed was maybe not the brightest moment in league history, but suffice it to say there was some fundamental disagreements that resulted in the mutual parting of ways between Will Reno and Kolkata Fantasy League.

Reno's team was kept in place as a Zombie team with no manager that still whooped my ass.

The year ended with yet another victory for girlboss Jordan Lakouta.

2022

After the tumultuous events of the year prior, Kolkata found itself without a 10th player. In the offseason, an agreement was reached with a legacy recruit, Stephen Hoffman, younger brother to our very own Boob Plower. Stephen has since been a truly wonderful addition to the league, and a radiant light of joy and competitive sportsmanship. It really makes you wonder what the hell went wrong with Luke.

And I'll be damned if Josh Buford wasn't in the championship AGAIN this year. Thank the heavens (and all the aliens that inhabit it) that Josh West defeated the big bad Boof in the finals, and claimed the crown.

2023

In 2023,  we saw probably the greatest comeback in single-season history from the Hard Knockers. After starting the season 0-4, Shannon proceeded to go on an unprecedented run, only dropping 2 of her remaining 13 games, and eventually become the first non-Josh champion in league history.

Our very own Carter Myers also had a booming year of business in 2023, where he arbitrarily guessed what buildings were worth at a record pace. As a result, he had the pocket change to splurge for an immaculate trophy for adorning the league's champion. Here Is the trophy in all it's glory, staged next to my most prized possession. Behold, the BOSS HOG:

2024

I genuinely don't remember a single thing that happened this year.

I do know that going into the playoffs, there was a three-way tie for first place, with Jay, Connor, and Luke all sitting at 10-5. So naturally, Josh Buford won the championship again. Kill me in real life.

2025

This brings us to last year. What many have called the Magnum Opus of the League. By far the most competitive and important season in league history. Throughout the season, consensus among managers was that whoever won this season, would be crowned king of all fantasy football and life and being the best at stuff.

Well despite all odds, overcoming a severe deficiency in Quarterback play, Chafey's Tender Fellas defeated Josh West's lineup of entirely LA Rams players to win it all and bring home the bacon. 

2026

That brings us to today. with only a couple days until the draft, I couldn't be more excited to play Fantasy Football with you all, and look forward to the challenge of defending my trophy. It literally just got here last week because Josh "3 to 5 business days" Buford sent it via horse and carriage from Arkansas to Washington via Japan apparently.

Hugs and kisses, love you all. Lets have a great season!